Loacker Tortina Chocolate Wafers

Loacker Original TortinasOh yeah! Time to review something that never gets old… CHOCOLATE! And Loacker Original Tortinas does not disappoint! I picked one up at my local World Market (great place to pick up weird candy from around the world) after dinner one night.

How’s it taste? Take a Kit Kat Bar, make it round and make it awesomer and you’ve got Tortinas! The chocolate is much richer and meltier which is nothing short of fantastic. The only negative thing I can say is that they should be bigger. Like… Frisbee sized.

Must. Eat. More. Chocolate. Discs.

Loacker Original Tortinas 2


4 out of 5 awesomes!

Rating= 4

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Lucas Skwinkles / Sopeados Review- Gummie worms and chili sauce??

Lucas Skwinkles gummie worms and chili sauceI ran across these Skwinkles at Fiesta mart for 50 cents. They were awkwardly positioned next to the dog food, so I had to make sure I was eating people food. Check! These Skwinkles are these little inch long gummy worms with a chili dipping sauce. Hungry yet?
Lucas is a candy company out of Mexico that makes all sorts of Mexican treats. They’re headed by a cool duck with sunglasses. Maybe if I eat more candy, I could be as cool as him! I mostly remember them from their Lucas Limon Salt- basically a shaker of really sour salt. And you eat it straight up as candy. What the hell was I thinking when I was a kid?! Actually, they were really popular at my school and actually garnered a news station to have them test. The results showed them to have an unhealthy acidic level for kids. Yum! Who would have thought ingesting super sour salt was bad for you?

Lucas Skwinkles gummie worms and chili sauce

Anyways, the implied directions are to take the gummie worms and dip them in the dark red chili sauce. The gummie worms look like sour “nightcrawler” worms, but feel firmer. Once you bite into them, though, they’re much softer and have a light sweet flavor. The sauce is super thick: between syrup and a paste. It looks like it’d take some planning to not make a mess before you finish the candy. It has a sour/salty/sweet flavor-in that order- with a low dry heat to it. Not spicy, but definitely chili. Together, you get the sweetness of the gummie worms and the tartness and saltiness of the chili sauce. Overall, they work well together and are super flavorful.Overall, it’s definitely flavorful and definitely different. Not something I’d eat everyday, but not bad. I give Lucas Swkinkles a 3 out of 5 awesomenesses.

Rating= 3

Roomate James says, “It tastes somewhere between putrid and sweet.”




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idea: uber m&m’s

I was catching up on old entries on The Sneeze today and came across one that really spoke to me. It’s an older entry in “Reviews You Can Use” about Steve’s disappointment when first trying Mega M&Ms. I felt the exact same way. I think I tried them when they were a Shrek movie tie-in. They called them ogre-sized, but were really just slightly bigger. “Mega” just isn’t as big as I used to think it was. I must have gotten taller or something.

So here’s my thought: I should make a giant m&m. It can’t be too hard, right? Some chocolate, some kind of candy shell and a little bit of edible coloring. I’m sure there’s more to it than that, but it’s doable. And since Mar’s Inc already took the adjectives “Mega” and “Ogre-sized” I guess I’ll call it an Uber m&m. If Mar’s has a problem with that, I could call them w&w’s or 3&3′s. Ha, take that “the man”!

fake m&ms

I’ll do some research and get back with you guys. If I’m not back in a couple days, I probably found something shinier to play with.

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Gimme a crack at that Toggi Bar!

Original Toggi Greek ChocolateI freaking love saying the name: Toggi! It sounds like a game you would only play at a party when you’re really drunk and no one would really know the rules but it doesn’t matter because it always ends up as a giant chocolate orgy. Wait, huh? Nevermind.

I picked up the Original Toggi at Seven Eleven. I suppose there’s a Toggi doppleganger out there somewhere, stealing Toggi’s identity. But nothing can match the original fine European chocolate wafers. I mean, there’s funny words I don’t understand on the packaging, it must be European! Sure enough, the back says these things are made in Greece. Mmm, greeky.

These things are pretty damn good. The closest mainstream thing we have to compare to is Kit Kat. Toggie’s (toggii?) are similar in flavor to Kit Kats, but much bigger and have a thinner shell. The wafers are a little lighter and crispier too and it has more of a hazelnut flavor to it. If I had to choose, I think I’d go with a Toggi bar over a Kit Kat… but that may just be because I like chocolate orgies.

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