Funny Foods: Vegetarian Swallow Balls

Vegetarian Swallow Balls

And no, I didn’t try it. Honestly.

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Peacock Brand Fish Flavored Pervert Snacks

Ok, so they’re not actually called Pervert chips. There’s really not much English on the bag at all. But the picture says it all:

Peacock brand Fish Snacks

I can honestly say, these are the most homo-erotic snacks I’ve ever eaten. I’m not even sure what the pictures have to do with chips. If anyone could give me a rough translation, that’d be awesome!

They taste surprisingly sweet and toasty at first, followed by a very strong fishy aftertaste. It tastes nothing like perverts. Or bi-curious teenage boys. Or so I would imagine. I’m not much of a seafood lover so I couldn’t see buying these again.

Peacock brand Fish Flavored Snacks get a 2.5 out of 5. They taste like a 2, but the bag art earns them an extra half point!

Rating= 2.5

Quoth the roommate-”They taste sweeter than I thought, just like little boys.”

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Jufran Banana Sauce- ketchup without tomatoes?!?

Jufran Filipino Banana KetchupYou read correctly, this is ketchup without tomatoes. And confusingly, they replaced the tomatoes with bananas. I’m not sure how that was the logical jump, but sure why not.

“Crap! We’re out of tomatoes! What’s close enough…. uh.. uhhh… BANANAS! Brilliant!
People dip their fries in chocolate shakes, why not pour bananas on fries? Let’s give it a shot!

I picked this bottle up at the local Asian market in the Filipino section. It looks exactly like ketchup, minus the picture of bananas on the label. It’s not at all chunky like I expected from a condiment made from bananas. It doesn’t taste anything like bananas either! It tastes like ketchup, but sweeter. They almost hit it dead on, but they seemed to forget a good deal of the vinegar that gives ketchup it’s tang.

So now that we’ve determined that it’s ketchup, the next obvious question is: WHY?!? Apparently this was invented during the Japanese occupation of the Philippines during the mid 1940′s. They couldn’t get their hands on American ketchup, so they made their own. It seems like they use it the same as we do for the most part. One interesting use for it though is in Filipino spaghetti. No spaghetti sauce and meatballs here. They use straight up banana sauce with hot dogs or vienna sausages, topped with grated cheddar. Sounds like it was invented in a college dorm. And by that, I mean delicious.

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Crack Sandwich- need I say anything else?

Fuma Crack Sandwiches- Sesame

Seriously? The guys at the Fuma factory in China couldn’t think of a better name?Alright then, Crack Sandwich it is.

(tee hee)

I picked up these Crack Sandwiches at Saigon Marketplace, a local asian supermarket. I really don’t know what the name was trying to go for- am I supposed to crack them in half? (Which I did, nothing cool happened except a bunch of crumbs that were only mildly cool.) Are they’re so good, you’ll get addicted? (Gotta sell my mom’s TV to buy more crack sandwiches!) Is it some sort of innuendo about the model on the packaging? (Hello nurse!) Either way, it worked. I bought it.

What’s a crack sandwich? According to the packaging, it’s egg milk wafers filled with sesame butter filling. What’s it taste like? Sadly, they didn’t taste like crack or sandwiches. It tastes like a wafer ice cream cone with a peanut butter cream. Not bad, but taste a little stale and doesn’t have enough creme filling. I checked the ingredients too. Nothing contraband or exuded from a supermodel. Somewhat disappointing.

Still, I’ll say that it was completely worth it for the packaging :)

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Hello Boss French Roast canned iced coffee

Hello Boss French Roast Iced CoffeeThere’s no use denying it, we here at netfoodie have a caffeine problem. Today’s poison: Hello Boss’ French Roast canned coffee. Hello Boss is a super popular canned coffee company in Asia and you can usually pick up their products in most Asian markets. The can of french roast cost me 69 cents.

I like my coffee sweet. Like candy. Some people say that I have coffee in my milk and sugar. Screw those people!

This french roast is more coffee than I usually have. There is cream and sugar in the coffee, but it’s not trying to fool you into thinking it’s something else. On the other hand, the coffee is quite sweet. If you take your coffee black, this coffee isn’t for you. If you like tall iced vanilla lattes with soy milk with a shot of peppermint and hold the whip, this isn’t for you either. If you like your coffee with a little cream and sugar, then I’d give Hello Boss a shot. It’s tasty, but not my cup of tea can of coffee.

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Pocky= tiny sticks of pure joy!

Pocky Chocolate and StrawberryIf you’ve ever been “glomped” at a con, then you probably don’t need an introduction to Pocky. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then this review is for you!

Pocky is a ridiculously popular Japanese snack from Glico. You can find them in Asian markets, comic book stores, anime conventions and even at some Walmarts! They’re usually a dollar or two a box, unless you’re being overcharged at a convention. They’re nifty little biscuit sticks dipped into sweet flavored coatings. It’s really less of a biscuit and more of naked pretzel stick. The most popular flavors are chocolate and strawberry, but they come in a seemingly infinite variety of flavors. While I’m sure that the future holds many reviews of the other flavors, today we’ll focus on chocolate and strawberry.

Opening the Pocky is half the fun! The boxes are made to somewhat act as a display for your sweet sticks. Once you pop open the box, you’ll find a sealed pouch(or 2 if you got a large box) keeping your confection fresh.

The Pocky is a sweet crunchy treat. The stick is crisp and slightly salty while the coating counters with a sweet flavor. I definitely like the chocolate flavor better myself but the strawberry is nothing to sneeze at either(because that’d be kinda gross).  I was constantly surprised at how chocolaty each bite was.

Some notes about Pocky:

Don’t leave Pocky in a hot car, unless you want one giant Pocky bar… which actually sounds pretty good. On second thought, DO leave Pocky in the car.

Don’t let the clerk drop your Pocky. Half of our strawberry Pocky were broken because the clerk dropped the box. Still tasty though!

Pocky is considered a form of currency at anime conventions. Though prostitution is not technically allowed at these conventions, you’ll be surprised at what a box of Pocky can get you. Think of it as a fangirl Klondike bar.

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Wishtree Fried Chicken Crackers- tastes like chicken, kinda

Wishtree Fried Chicken Flavored CrackersWell, I better like these or find some friends who do. The only way it I could find to buy it was in a bag of 20. Luckily, it only cost me $2.50. And also lucky for me, they taste good too!

Ok, so I call these Wishtree Chicken flavored crackers but that’s mostly because those are just about the only English words I can find on the package. I picked these up at my local Hong Kong supermarket and they come in this cute little fried chicken takeout bag with a handle. As an added bonus, you get a little cartoon chicken mascot that appears to be saying “Please eat me. I’m tasty!”

Each package contains 10 very thin crackers. They taste a little buttery and do really have a light chicken taste. If you’ve ever had “Chicken in a Biscuit” crackers, same idea. If not, think Ritz crackers with a salty chickeny flavor. Unlike these crackers though, these are really tin, crispier and a little toastier. I was hoping for a little more flavor, but they are great little snacks. Add a little cheese and they’re awesome!

Now who wants to come over to my place for a chicken cracker party?

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Stir Fried Ramen Noodles recipe

Stir Fried Ramen NoodlesThis is comfort food to me. My parents always used to makes this dish. It’s cheap, filling and tastes great! We usually have some meat in it: sliced beef or pork, even ground meat, but I decided to go without today(see this post if you want to know why). If you want to include the meat, add it to the pan before step 5 and brown the meat, seasoning with half a packet of noodle seasoning. We use MAMA brand Pork noodles(available at any Asian grocer), but feel free to use your favorite brand and flavor. It’s great with your favorite hot sauce!
Mama Noodles Pork Flavored

Recipe for Stir Fried Ramen Noodles

Ingredients:
3 packs of MAMA pork flavored noodles
2 large eggs, beaten
1 clove of garlic, choppedMama Noodles Inside
1/2 cup of onions, diced
1/2 cup of frozen peas and carrots
Cooking spray and/or vegetable oil

1. Bring a pot of water to a boil with enough water to cover the noodles.
2. Remove the noodle from the packages and put the seasonings and oil to the side. These packets contain oil, seasonings and chili powder. Break each noodle brick into quarters and put into boiling water with 1 packet of included oil.
3. Boil on HIGH until al dente, or about 1 minute. You don’t want the noodles to be soggy and these noodles cook very quickly. Strain the noodles. Do not rinse.
4. Spray a pan or wok with some nonstick spray. Heat on MEDIUM. Add 1 tsp. of oil(optional). Add onions(I used frozen chopped onions) and garlic. Cook until garlic is lightly browned.
5. Add beaten eggs to the pan. Sprinkle eggs with half of a seasoning packet. Scramble the eggs until halfway cooked. You want the eggs a little runny so they stick to the noodles.
6. Add drained noodles back to the pan. Add 2 of the seasoning packets(chili powder optional). Add the frozen peas and carrots. Stir until the seasoning is even, eggs are cooked and peas and carrots are warm.

Serves 2-3

Stir Fried Ramen Noodles in Pan

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