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Wow, these must be pretty damn extreme. So extreme that they’re freaking screamin! That’s exactly what I want from my potato chips. Ideally, I want my snacks hopped up on speed and plowing through sheetrock while blaring Dragonforce. I want my chips to kick my teeth in before I get a chance to eat it, then piss in my coffee. EXTREME!

What I don’t necessarily want from my chips is them to taste like pickles. Oh well, it’s a trade off I guess.

When you first open the seal, you get a nice big whiff of the extreme pickleness immediately. I thought: ok, I’ve had pickle chips before and I like salt and vinegar chips. Let’s give them a taste!

I found out why they added the descriptor “Screamin’ ” on the can. It’s not actually describing the chips, but acts as a disclaimer. You will make loud noises when you first taste these. Usually a cough/gasp for air followed by some sort of exclamation. “Damn that’s some extreme pickle there” is a suitable exclamation. I’ll attempt to describe the taste. Imagine if you could compress vinegar with enough force to turn it into a solid. Kind of like Superman squeezing coal into a diamond, but much more useless and smelly. Now, put that in a mason jar with some pickling brine and wait a week. Now, drink the entire jar.

I’m usually all about adding more flavor to chips. Hell, if they sold kilo bricks of Doritos cheese, I’d probably have to pawn my roomate’s TV to support my habit. Apparently, I’ve found my limit for pickle flavor. I can’t eat more than a couple at a time. I’d probably throw them away but it’s fun making other people try them. I could really see this being a great idea to keep around if your wife is pregnant. On second though, it might be better if you keep pregnant women and unborn children away from these Pringles. You wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt by the sheer extremeness of these chips. Plus, there may be a high chance that your wife would give birth to a 7 pound pickle. Boy, wouldn’t that be weird to see coming out of your wife? Feel free to send me a link to those pictures…

Somewhat edible, but way too extreme for me: 2 out of 5 awesomenesses.

Seriously? The guys at the Fuma factory in China couldn’t think of a better name?Alright then, Crack Sandwich it is.

(tee hee)

I picked up these Crack Sandwiches at Saigon Marketplace, a local asian supermarket. I really don’t know what the name was trying to go for- am I supposed to crack them in half? (Which I did, nothing cool happened except a bunch of crumbs that were only mildly cool.) Are they’re so good, you’ll get addicted? (Gotta sell my mom’s TV to buy more crack sandwiches!) Is it some sort of innuendo about the model on the packaging? (Hello nurse!) Either way, it worked. I bought it.

What’s a crack sandwich? According to the packaging, it’s egg milk wafers filled with sesame butter filling. What’s it taste like? Sadly, they didn’t taste like crack or sandwiches. It tastes like a wafer ice cream cone with a peanut butter cream. Not bad, but taste a little stale and doesn’t have enough creme filling. I checked the ingredients too. Nothing contraband or exuded from a supermodel. Somewhat disappointing.

Still, I’ll say that it was completely worth it for the packaging

I freaking love saying the name: Toggi! It sounds like a game you would only play at a party when you’re really drunk and no one would really know the rules but it doesn’t matter because it always ends up as a giant chocolate orgy. Wait, huh? Nevermind.

I picked up the Original Toggi at Seven Eleven. I suppose there’s a Toggi doppleganger out there somewhere, stealing Toggi’s identity. But nothing can match the original fine European chocolate wafers. I mean, there’s funny words I don’t understand on the packaging, it must be European! Sure enough, the back says these things are made in Greece. Mmm, greeky.

These things are pretty damn good. The closest mainstream thing we have to compare to is Kit Kat. Toggie’s (toggii?) are similar in flavor to Kit Kats, but much bigger and have a thinner shell. The wafers are a little lighter and crispier too and it has more of a hazelnut flavor to it. If I had to choose, I think I’d go with a Toggi bar over a Kit Kat… but that may just be because I like chocolate orgies.

If you’ve ever been “glomped” at a con, then you probably don’t need an introduction to Pocky. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then this review is for you!

Pocky is a ridiculously popular Japanese snack from Glico. You can find them in Asian markets, comic book stores, anime conventions and even at some Walmarts! They’re usually a dollar or two a box, unless you’re being overcharged at a convention. They’re nifty little biscuit sticks dipped into sweet flavored coatings. It’s really less of a biscuit and more of naked pretzel stick. The most popular flavors are chocolate and strawberry, but they come in a seemingly infinite variety of flavors. While I’m sure that the future holds many reviews of the other flavors, today we’ll focus on chocolate and strawberry.

Opening the Pocky is half the fun! The boxes are made to somewhat act as a display for your sweet sticks. Once you pop open the box, you’ll find a sealed pouch(or 2 if you got a large box) keeping your confection fresh.

The Pocky is a sweet crunchy treat. The stick is crisp and slightly salty while the coating counters with a sweet flavor. I definitely like the chocolate flavor better myself but the strawberry is nothing to sneeze at either(because that’d be kinda gross).  I was constantly surprised at how chocolaty each bite was.

Some notes about Pocky:

Don’t leave Pocky in a hot car, unless you want one giant Pocky bar… which actually sounds pretty good. On second thought, DO leave Pocky in the car.

Don’t let the clerk drop your Pocky. Half of our strawberry Pocky were broken because the clerk dropped the box. Still tasty though!

Pocky is considered a form of currency at anime conventions. Though prostitution is not technically allowed at these conventions, you’ll be surprised at what a box of Pocky can get you. Think of it as a fangirl Klondike bar.

Maybe I have the sense of humor of a 5 year old. Or maybe I’m hoping to draw misplaced and confused Johnny Depp fans to netfoodie.com. Whatever the reason, I chose to review Pirate’s Booty from Robert’s American Gourmet Snacks .

I picked up my Booty (teehee) from Whole Foods Store in their chip aisle. I’ve seen these all over the place though: campus stores, vending machines, grocery stores, etc. The company apparently has an entire line of Booty chips ranging from Fruity Booty to Veggie Booty. I picked up my 4oz bag for 2 bucks on sale. The bag is bigger than it sounds because these are actually pretty light. I’d say about the size of a bag of Doritos.

Pirate’s Booty are aged white cheddar flavored puffs of rice and corn. They’re somewhat healthy- 5g of fat, 180 calories- and boast to be all natural. They’re very light and airy, almost like packing peanuts. Unlike packing peanuts, however, they taste great! The actual booty are very randomly shaped nuggets. Personally, I think they could have gone with a little more flavoring on it, but I’m a huge fan of white cheddar. They’re filling enough to snack on and healthy enough to not feel too bad.

Check out the pictures of my all natural Booty!